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 he Guardian G2 Poker Column |
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| Victoria
Coren |
| Monday March 5,
2007 |
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Here is a story to console anyone out there who has ever had a bad
run at internet poker. In December, I was ill. Luckily, the advent of online
poker has vastly improved the business of being stuck at home. When I was a
kid, there was nothing to do but watch Crown Court. In the 21st century, I
could amuse myself by playing $50 and $100 no-limit Holdem sit-and-goes
(nine-handed knockout tournaments, in which the last three players win
money).
I played 25 of them in a row. How many times do you think I
cashed? No times. Zero. If a chimpanzee was poking the keyboard at random, over
25 games, it should accidentally finish in the money at least once. |
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The conclusion that "a monkey could do
better" was not statistically accurate enough to be reported in a column, so I
emailed Andy Ward, the celebrated blogger and online sit-and-go expert. Andy
advised: "An average player, playing five sit-and-goes a day, could expect a
run like that about every 20,000 games, or every 12 years. Twenty-five in a row
is really sick. That could never happen to me, for the sole reason that when it
got to 18, I would throw my PC through the window."
Being of calmer
temperament, I simply stopped playing internet poker. I took a break; I
re-grouped; I reminded myself that (girlish modesty aside) I am a very good
poker player. After two months, I took a deep breath and signed up for another
sit-and-go. Ten seconds in, my laptop crashed and I couldn't get the site back.
One hour later, I got an email from PokerStars: "You finished the
tournament in 3rd place. A $180 award has been credited to your account.
Congratulations!"
So, remember me the next time you have a bad run. You
think you've got problems? My own computer plays better without me.
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